The Thoughts

Why I am the way I am. Or, the story of how the Paleo diet backfired on me:

A turbulent one that started with a restrictive Paleo diet which consumed me. And ultimately failed me. 

The Paleo diet backfired on me. Hard. So extreme was my dedication to the Paleo diet, there I was rejecting mangos (cavemen didn’t eat them), popcorn (cavemen didn’t eat those either), and refused to even look at grains. Goodbye, rice. Goodbye, crackers. Goodbye, a life of pleasure. You’re now a life of restriction.

My addiction to Paleo became an unhealthy badge of honor. Saying, ‘oh I don’t eat that’ meant looking at another person in judgment, one eyebrow lit up questioning their food choices.  My judgment of another person was a band-aid solution to making me feel better about the fact that I was on such a limited diet of…water and air, I suppose. 

The Paleo diet didn’t fix things for me. Instead, it triggered a series of unfortunate events that led to a leaky gut, food allergies and a thyroid issue. It led to three very dark years of weight gain, bloat, depression. 

Maybe it was the catalyst in getting me to a healthy, normal life. But the pain involved in the aftermath was troubling and stirring. Why do we insist that people prescribe to our way of eating? Why do we prescribe to a measured, difficult and complicated way of nourishing our bodies? Food was meant to be simple — food for sustenance. Food that is clean, pure, not grown in a lab. It’s that simple, isn’t it?

We complicate it. I complicated it. I complicated everything in my body and my mind for three long years, resulting in five years of a fight I wasn’t prepared to handle.

It resulted in overcoming disordered eating and learning more about myself and our health system than I could have ever imagined. In a way, I am grateful for the series of events. In another way, I shudder when I think of the existence I used to have.

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